Till death do us apart!

Till death do us apart!

As I see your sweet angelic face staring blankly through me

I search for words...search for a flicker of hope...

As I wipe my tears and put on my happy face

I know you know when you give your pained and helpless expression...

Oh how I yearn for that warm embrace, the smell of your clothes, your hair...

The comfort of your lap, the irritated yet filled with love face...

How do I get through you to tell you how much I love you...

How I can get the world to your feet just for that divine smile...

Why oh why is Fate so cruel...why do you have to suffer so...

As I wait patiently with a heavy heart, I know there's only so much I can do...

As I wait for divine intervention, and hope and pray as I've never before...

To get you back to me, for I'm not ready to let you go...

There is so much I want to say, so much I want to show...

So just be with me, don't go away yet, for I Love you so...

Let me savour every moment with you, relive and make new memories,

I'm just an arm's length away, yet the distance is killing me...

My beloved mother, just know I'm here for you forever...

Till death do us apart....

And then the fateful day dawned bright and clear and I knew this was it...

You hugged me hard to give me strength, for you knew I needed it for what was to come

I paced like a caged animal when I heard your raspy breath, as I tried to deny the inevitable

Fighting my tears, I sat by your bed, holding your lovely soft hands...

As you looked into my eyes, I calmed down and then in one moment our roles reversed

I patted your head and chanted divine words and said we loved you, 

i whispered...be strong Ma, just let go...for you do not deserve to suffer any more...

As I kissed you goodbye...and closed your eyes....

I knew now you would finally be at peace....

Yes, Death did us apart....

I close my eyes and I see the beautiful smile on your kind face

I know you're there for me guiding me through life's tricky maze

Just the way you held my little hand and taught me to take my first step

I count on you darling mother and will do so for every moment I'm awake

...For you're not just my mother anymore, you're my guardian angel ....

Mind games!

Have you ever wondered where the inner voice comes from? Have you wondered who the sometimes nagging voice belongs to, the one that floods your thoughts? You know maybe an overdose of Hindi movies in my childhood left a lasting impression in my mind where I'm reminded of 2 bewitching ladies, one dressed in white and the other dressed in black which pop up every time I'm trying to take a decision. So the good one, stereotypically, the one in white always is telling me to do what is right and the one in black is the one that tempts me to do whatever is supposedly not the right thing! So who wins? Well, the answer varies, sometimes both do and sometimes both don't. As I grew older and hopefully wiser, I realised that I ended up doing what felt right at that moment. Hours of analytical thinking and logical reasoning didn't help me at all. So let me try to break it down. So who is this lady in white? It is our upbringing, years of being told what is right, what is wrong by our parents, teachers, books, influencers who have drilled the laws of society into our heads. So automatically, just the way a robot adheres to a command, our mind maps what is supposed to be right. So who is this lady in black? This according to me is not the evil one, though it definitely has shades of negativity, it is what the inner being wants at that point. Sometimes it could be selfishness that drives it, sometimes the need for attention, the reward of a happy moment, or maybe plain ego boosting, whatever the reason, this lady in black always attracts us more than the one in white. So is this the way the human mind is trained or are these mind games that we play?